Wanting to do something and wanting to do what it takes to do something can be two different things. It's a point I've heard time and time again when it comes to writing; you can want to be a writer, or want to write a book, but do you want to spend a lot of hours sitting at your desk, typing away? Do you want to log a whole lot of alone time? Do you enjoy the doing of the thing, or do you just hope to be an author? Luckily, with writing, I really, really enjoy the doing of the thing, but I can't stop thinking about that idea, and that difference — the doing vs. the being.
It's probably safe to say that we've all come up against that same feeling. Sure, I'd love to be the sort of cook who whips up original dishes all the time, but honestly, I have absolutely zero patience when it comes to experimenting in the kitchen. I'm a by-the-book, follow-a-recipe kind of girl, and although it would be great to be more creative in the kitchen, I don't want to do it.
For me, this doing vs. being thing has become a measurement of sorts. Like anyone, I have a long bucket list, and I'm a big believer in setting goals and writing to-do lists of any and every kind. But at some point, the realist in me kicks into gear, and it's actually been really fascinating to take a hard look at the things I "want to do" and ask myself if I really want to do what it takes to do them.
At first, I thought I might feel guilty about crossing a few things off my list, but to be honest, I actually felt proud. It's easy to tick off a million things you'd like to do, but it's takes some true strength and resolve to narrow down that list and do what you actually want to do.
And who knows? When it comes to cooking, maybe someday I'll actually want to get creative with something other than an extra-special PBJ. But, I mean, I won't hold my breath.