April 17, 2013

on diving in.

I used to think I preferred slow, gradual change — small shifts that would ease me into whatever new experience sat on the horizon. Truth is, I love a good plan. I like to know what I'll be doing today, this week, and across the next five years, so I've always liked to move cautiously, step by step.

... And then I realized that this has never actually been what works best for me.

I chose which college I'd go to at the last second. On a whim, Radley decided to move to Chicago with me. When it was time to move to San Francisco, we signed for the first apartment we visited. I bought the first wedding dress I tried on. We made an offer on the first house we came across.

So, you know, maybe I'm a bit more impulsive than I once thought. And it's not that I don't think things through — trust me, I do, exhaustively so — but maybe diving in really is the best option every once in a while. Maybe when you don't give yourself the space to waver and second guess, when you don't dither and falter and give fear the room to breathe, you actually learn to trust yourself.

(Photo: Morning Bay | My Instagram)


Meg said... [Reply to comment]

I feel that way ALL the time! I'll spend hours on pros and cons lists, days or weeks obsessing, and then when the time comes to actually make the decision, I just jump in. Maybe the obsessing and debating informs the decision, or maybe we just knew what was right all along...

Niken said... [Reply to comment]

ha! so true. i'm not a planner for my life, which oddly enough, as a production manager for film and tv production, my job is to plan and anticipate and prepare. i'm not a planner but i could spend time thinking 'do or don't' but in the end i always like, 'hell, just do it!'

CrochezJulie said... [Reply to comment]

I can definitely relate to this :) I think that sometimes the thinkers and planners can tend to be the most spontaneous, because we get to the point where we just want get things going!

Sarah Libros said... [Reply to comment]

I tend to be a pretty impulsive person too, but I've struggled to find the right balance between impulsiveness and responsibility. It seems I always choose the wrong one at the wrong time.. Seems like you've got that a little more down than me ;)

Just came across your blog and I love it. You have a nice writing style, I already want to read more. Just followed and looking forward to future posts.

Claire Kiefer said... [Reply to comment]

I'm all about acting on impulse. There's a sense of security--or something--that comes with planning, but it's never really been my forte. I think it's great to just accept it as how you are. :)