December 19, 2011

home.

Last December I snapped this photo of home. For whatever reason, I keep revisiting it lately—perhaps because December feels so strange without snow, or because Lake Ellyn and ice skating and snowball fights have been popping up in my dreams night after night.

Friends ask if I miss Chicago and yes, of course, I miss the people and places, my closest friends and family. They ask if I miss the city and I do—the skyline, the energy, the food. They ask if I miss the snow and I shrug because it's a complicated relationship, snow and me. I find it beautiful to look at, sure, and I love that it makes the air crisp and cool, quiet. A week of flurries would be nice, I think, but then I'd be ready for my sixty-degree San Francisco weather, a winter that feels like fall.

A coworker asked, "Do you miss your hometown?"
"Of course," I said. "It's home."
"This doesn't feel like home?" she wondered.

It does, I told her. It's felt like home for months. It felt like home when our furniture arrived, when I arranged the bookshelf, when we cooked our first meal and when we hung our paintings and when we put up the Christmas tree. This is most definitely our home.

I haven't lived in Glen Ellyn since I was 18. Since then it's been a place for transitions, a rest stop in between moves. But so far it's still home, and I find myself wondering if and when that might change. When my parents sell the house? When I buy one of my own? When we someday start a family?

If I really think about it, though, the truth is that there may be new houses, but there's only one home.

(Photo: My Flickr)

4 comments:

Elizabeth and Kyle @ Love Is the Adventure said... [Reply to comment]

I have nothing particularly insightful to add but this resonates with me really strongly right now.

Isn't it amazing when home starts to be the thing you carry inside of you and not an external location?

MJ @ Teaching in Heels said... [Reply to comment]

It is true that your childhood hometown will always feel like home, although you'll create new homes along the way :)

Katherine Krieg said... [Reply to comment]

couldn't agree more! and totally love the picture - makes me feel at home too!

Mateus Lopes said... [Reply to comment]

what a beautiful picture! yes, it must be a little weird weird living in a place so diferent from the city where u spent most of your life...