June 1, 2011

the other kind of friend.

There's something to be said for the every day sort of friend, the one you see so often they may as well be family--the one you do everything with, can't go a week without talking to. But more and more I realize how much there is to love about the other kind of friend, the one you see only every so often--once a year, maybe, or once every few.

At first you can't help but notice how they've changed, how they're different. Yes, you realize, they're a bit taller, or a bit more confident, more poised. They're quieter, too, and better about keeping eye contact. Or maybe the changes are more obvious: a different way of dressing, speaking, moving. 

But then, once you've mentally ticked off all of what's new about them, you're struck--overwhelmed, really--by all that's the same. It's the way they half-smirk while they talk, or the tone of their voice, or the way they scrunch up their face when they're thinking. Their movements are the same, their nervous habits, and more than anything else, their laugh is just as you remember.

And right away--instinctively, inevitably--you find that you love them all over again.
Just for being who they are. Just for being so wonderfully recognizable.

(Photo: Max Coffee)


Maria said... [Reply to comment]

I love this! I have a friend whom recently moved to Georgia for Graduate School. It's so good seeing her when she gets to come back down!

Ana* said... [Reply to comment]

Perfect title to go with the post. I love that kind of friend

luckisallugot said... [Reply to comment]

I love this. I grew up on the east coast, but now live in Chicago so I don't see my friends from home all that often. But I do love those moments when I get to see them and I notice all those little quirks you mentioned. And it's true it makes me love them even more, because even though we have changed, we've changed together.

Cassie said... [Reply to comment]

The minute I read this I only had one person on my mind. My friend J has been my best friend since high school; but as the college years have passed us by we see less of each other (even though we live minutes from each other). Even though I only see him less than 3 times a year now..it is like the minute we look at each other we are back to right where we left off.

I don't think I will ever not feel like he is one of my best friends, and that truly is a "other kind of friend."

luckisallugot said... [Reply to comment]

Also- I just saw your other blog someday hopes. I knew a girl, Melissa, who wrote in her diary once all the things she someday wanted to do. Similar to your someday hopes. Unfortunately, Melissa passed away from her eating disorder 2 years ago, but her Mom is continuing her legacy through one of her somedays which was to create a movie that will change lives. It's a remarkable story if you are interested in checking out the website! http://somedaymelissa.com

Laura Marie said... [Reply to comment]

@luckisallugot Wow I just checked out the website... What an incredible story--thanks so much for sharing!

becky said... [Reply to comment]

I have a friend like that--an actress of a friend I do not see very often but whose time with is always so deeply, deeply cherished. Every fleeting moment we do have is confounded in the realisation of her beauty--I mean her internal beauty. Sometimes I really, really need to see her if only for that.

Melissa Blake said... [Reply to comment]

Great post! I've found the same thing is true. Some of my friends and I can go years without seeing each other and pick up right where we left off! xoxo

Malin said... [Reply to comment]

I love these kinds of friends, which is good, as I have many of them!

Amber said... [Reply to comment]

This is such an interesting post. You're a really good writer. Very thought provoking.