November 30, 2010

invest your love.

I think it's important to be a good friend... really, really important. 

For one thing, I've always felt that the sort of friend you are reflects quite accurately what sort of person you are in general. Loyalty in friendships usually translates to loyalty in other areas of your life--if you're a considerate, devoted friend who remembers the birthdays and the passions and the little things about the people you love, chances are you're also a dedicated girlfriend, daughter, sister, and employee, too... not to mention you're probably more content, more at ease, and more lighthearted besides.

... So what do I think it means to be a good friend?

Well, I think it means checking in regularly, even if you only have ten minutes to spare. I think it means celebrating a friend's successes selflessly, free of jealousy or resentment. I think it means sometimes saying what they need to hear, sometimes saying what they want to hear, and the sensitivity to know which reaction is appropriate. 

I think it means empathy, reliability, trust. I think it means looking out for each other, taking care of each other. I think it means being adaptable--being not only the person a friend call when they need a laugh, but also the one they call when they need to vent, when they need advice, when they just need an ear to listen.

Of course, being a good friend isn't always easy. Life gets in the way. Work gets in the way. Time is precious. We have deadlines and families and ourselves to take care of, too. 

None of us are perfect--so yes, being a good friend can be tough. It can be tough and time-consuming and sometimes, it falls to the bottom of our lengthy to-do lists... but it's important that we keep it toward the top, because being a good friend can also be rewarding, fulfilling, enriching--a satisfying break from the go, go, go of the rest of our lives.

It's tough, yes--but it's not impossible.

And, as Mumford & Sons say in their song "Awake My Soul"--
Where you invest your love, you invest your life.

(Photo: jackie rueda)


DT said... [Reply to comment]

so well written and so true.. love it!!

Ana* said... [Reply to comment]

I absolutely agree with everything you have written here, even though sometimes we give our best to have our hearts broken by our so called friends. I am in the process of becoming a friend again.

Lillian Chang said... [Reply to comment]

Such a wonderful post, Laura! And I completely agree with everything you said - it's so hard to remember to keep this as a top priority! But it's so, so important because if one doesn't, it becomes easier for it to slip further and further down on the list. And as we get older and life gets crazier, it seems even harder. Just by keeping it in mind, I think, is really important. Studies show that having a really great close-knit group of friends keep you happier and let you live longer, too! So these investments literally extend your life :)

Hannah Elizabeth said... [Reply to comment]

" think it means sometimes saying what they need to hear, sometimes saying what they want to hear, and the sensitivity to know which reaction is appropriate."

SO TRUE! Sometime when my gf is venting and being a little unresonable I even ask her, do you want to hear what's true or what you want to hear right now? and then she ends up laughing and realizing it herself.

loved every bit :-) I absolutely adore that song as well.

Steph said... [Reply to comment]

WOW. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post. I think I'm going to make a few calls today just to let my friends know how important they are to me :)

*D* said... [Reply to comment]

I love this post and agree with it all! I strive to be this kind of friend to my friends. They mean the world to me!

Sabrina Katherine said... [Reply to comment]

Needed this today, you soulmate you. You are such a beautiful friend :)

Emily.. said... [Reply to comment]

i love this post! it is so true
wonderful job :)


Michelle said... [Reply to comment]

This is such a lovely post!! And you're a wonderful friend. I'm so happy I get to call you a friend. :)

my name is lauren. said... [Reply to comment]

i love this post.

....mostly because i've been feeling bummed out about friends lately. feeling let down by friends that aren't the most loyal or thoughtful and feeling frustrated that i'm the only one putting in effort. good to know there are good friends out there like you, so i probably shouldn't give up on having friends just yet :).


Kelly said... [Reply to comment]

Thank you for this post! I needed a little bit of a reminder in some areas.

Abi P. said... [Reply to comment]

This is beautiful.